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Violence Against Women Update

2/22/2013

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It has as been exactly one week since I posted the blog about violence against women and here is a little update on that post. I have been told of two incidents, just since I initially made the post, involving women who are friends of mine. The first happened at a local hair salon. A male customer came into the salon and at first he seemed normal. However, he eventually became fixated on one of the stylists and he began displaying odd behavior. He asked her about personal photos at her station, he displayed an aggressive tone when she identified her husband in one of the photos, after his haircut he lingered around the salon. After his hair was cut he wouldn't leave and when ask to pay he had no money. Eventually he stated he would go get his wallet in his vehicle, but he never returned. Since that day, he has been calling the salon asking for that stylist and offering to pay her for his cut. His behavior was so disturbing that the salon told him not to worry about the bill. However, he continues to call. The salon then notified the local police where they were advised that this man is a registered sex offender and was arrested just up the street from them for accosting a woman on that same day he came into their salon. Unfortunately, he is back on the street.

The second story took place in an upper middle class neighborhood in Taylors. The female was home alone during the day and heard a noise. When she went to investigate she noticed a man trying to enter through her back door. He then moved around to a set of glass patio doors and attempted to enter there. Scared and not knowing what to do she called her husband; he asked “did you call 911?” no “call them now, I am on my way”.  While she waited for a Sheriff’s Deputy, the man pulled out a hammer and started beating on the outside AC unit but quickly left. A Deputy picked the man up down the street where he claimed to work for Duke Power. He showed the Deputy a Duke Power ID so they let him go because they found he had not damaged her property. By the time her husband arrived home the man and the Deputy had left the area. The man was not charged with anything. Apparently the Deputy did not find it suspect for a Duke Power employee to attempt to enter a home or tamper with an AC unit in that manner.

Now, in regards to taking precautions and learning how to deal with this type of situation, this is what I learned: Concerning the first incident, I was told by my friend “You know, we probably need to take some kind of class”.  Concerning the second incident, the husband suggested his wife take a self-defense class. She declined and said she really didn't feel she needed any kind of training. So tell me, what does it take? What kind of sign does someone need to see before they realize, “it could happen to me”, especially after it almost did?



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Perfection

2/19/2013

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  Each day I study my art, pushing myself to strive to be better than the day before.  Each day I’m in search of a better understanding of myself and my art, always striving for perfection. And, each day I know there is no such thing as perfection - it simply does not exist.  You may ask, “Then why would you spend so much time seeking something that does not exist?”

   For me, the answer is simple. It gives me focus, a purpose, and a reason for waking each day. It gives me a reason to try to do better and helps me to realize that no matter how much I do our how hard I try there is always room for improvement, regardless of how many times I have performed a technique or task. Knowing that no one is perfect allows me to accept the person that I am because I know each day I have done and will do my best. The Samurai called concept this “Learning to die well”. I feel that if I died tomorrow then I have been truly doing my best to be a good person, husband, friend, and teacher to all that I know and have met.  I know that I have done my best to leave a positive impact and have tried to give more than I have taken. I will also know that although my life was far from perfect, I did my best and this brings me peace and allows me to see the beauty in imperfection.

   So, today at the end of my workout, I sat silently in this imperfect world surrounded by all of my imperfect things contemplating this thought and the love I have for the imperfect life I have been given. While I sat there knowing that in a few moments my Dojo will be filled with imperfect people just like me looking for answers to questions that I dedicated my life to helping them with.  I vow to do my best and pray as I do every day for guidance to transmit to them what I have taken from my life-long study of Budo.  Life itself is not perfect however we must always strive to do our best each day. That is truly all we can ever hope for and how we might someday find perfection.

                                                                       -Shihan Ogle



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Violence Against Women

2/15/2013

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I read a news article this morning and would like everyone to take a look at what is going on where we live and in our communities. It was pointed out that according to the Violence Policy Center South Carolina is ranked 2nd in the country when it comes to women murdered by men. Statistics from the South Carolina Attorney General’s office also state that in 2011 of the 52 people murdered by a household member 39 of those were women with Greenville County having the highest number at 5. And within the last 6 months there have already been 6 deaths related to domestic violence in Oconee County alone.

This issue really bothers me and is exactly why I do what I do. Self defense is not only for when someone attacks you in a parking lot. It’s also a way for one to understand that you are just as important as anybody else. It also allows you to have the courage to stand up for what you believe in and what you know is right. Through the years I have had many husbands dislike me because of the increased confidence and independence there once quite submissive wives have discovered within themselves. I have also had many comments on my women’s youtube videos stating that women have no place learning self defense and would not get hit if they acted more like a female and knew there place. Once a lady told me she didn’t think she was even worth raping. I don’t know about you but I find this mindset very disturbing. This type of low self image is why far more cases of abuse go unreported than reported. I know the darkness that many women live with makes them feel there is no hope but your wrong there is. If you live in a situation like this there really is help for you and you can do something about it; you just have to have the courage to take that first step, admit there is a problem and ask for help. Even if you live in a loving home with children make sure you educate your children. Let them know that these problems do exist and teach them that we are all equals and we all should be treated as such. Sadly this lack of equality is passed down regardless of gender to our children. And I feel it is the reason for some much of the violence we are now seeing. We must start early on teaching our children so that they grow up understanding that no one person, race or gender is better than another and that they should always treat others the way that they would want to be treated; with respect. 


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    Don Ogle

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